A courageous and determined Basanti


Ramesh Wagle/Pahichan – Basanti Kadayat, a permanent resident from Kailali, has been expelled by family members for engaging in love with her friend. In the initial period, both families accepted their love. Latter, they tried to kill and expelled her. Now, Basanti is asking, “Is it crime to fall in love?”

Kadayat is an inter-sex. As the gender identity was vague at the time of her birth, family members named as Basanti and brought up her as a daughter. In the school days, she found herself different from other colleagues due to separate gender identity.

When she turned teenager, she became close to boys than the girls and she presented herself as a courageous student in school among friends. When she used to sit alone, she used to feel boring. She used to feel bore due to the differences of her actual feeling and outer identity that has been established in the society.

She had a girl friend from neighbor. They used to live together most of the time and visit the places accordingly. “I used to visit her home and we got respect. We used to visit together,” she remembers.  We used to feel that our friendship was god-made.

The main cause of our happiness was our friendship, she said. “I love you and I want to spend my whole life with you,” Basanti said about the love proposal of her friend, “I was feeling dark; the proposal shed a light in my life. Again there is a dark cloud in our relationship,” she said. She gathered a lot of courage to share about her feelings and herself.

She started to study JTA at Dhangadi Multi Skill Institute of Technology Pvt Limited. When the exam was approaching the owner of college disappeared as college was run without fulfilling the legal procedures. All of her friends also became frustrated for the waste of time.

She felt disappointed. One day she listened Pahichan program which sprouted a sense of hope which led her to know about herself. She disclosed about identity wither her love. Her friend did not care about gender identity and accepted it. “Her family called me as son-in-law. My family called her daughter-in-law. We started a happy life,” Basanti said.

She got another reason to be happy from 2073 Magh when she got the job of supervisor in Doti Branch of Blue Diamond Society. Basanti’s lover also went to Doti after receiving permission from family. “We live a happy life in Doti,” she said. Some months later, family members called her to send her lover to home. “I asked to go home. She refused to do so. Again, when I came to Doti I faced a lot of problems. She always preferred to visit my village even in the mid-night,” She said.

Later family members did not allow our marriage.  Her lover left home saying that would commit suicide. She was not allowed even to speak. Her brothers tried to bring her back but did not succeed. Ultimately, they sought help from Basanti and she returned with a condition of marriage.

Family members gave the permission for marriage. When she returned home, family members started to scold her and abused her. She also sustained some injury but continued to take stance that she would marry with Basanti. Basanti also faced the same fate. Basanti was also scolded and beaten by family members. Her father scolded her and expelled from family.

Now, she is in Kathmandu and she does not know her future plan. Now she is asking, “Yesterday they accepted me as son-in-law. But they are trying to kill me. What is the reason behind it?”  Basanti has not lost her hope and courage.  She warned that there are human right organizations, police.  “All should know that I am not weak. If she is convinced with family members I have nothing to say at this time,” Basanti said.

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