My struggle as transgender man

Prabin Babu Kunwar/Pahichan – My life is witnessing a lot of ups and downs. I have been living my life till today overcoming all obstacles. My name is Prabin Babu Kunwar- a transgender man. My home is in Rupandehi”

My birth was as a female. I have five members in my family– mother, father, younger brother, younger sister and me. I was the first child of my parents, and also the much loved one. Our family was small, so we had no problems. I was slowly growing up: physically and emotionally.

Although, I was born as a female, I always behaved like a boy. I didn’t have many girlfriends, and most of friends were boys. I felt like a boy. Everyone used to comment on my masculine behavior. I had always been wearing my father’s and brother’s clothes; therefore it was not much difficult for me to come out.

My schooling was good, as I always stood first in the class. Maybe because of this, I was loved by friends and teachers as well. When I passed by Grade Eight and went to Grade Nine, a girl from another school joined my school.

Maybe because I was first in the class, she started to sit with me. We started to go most places together. I did not want to be anywhere without her. That is why sometimes, I went to her house and she came to my house. Everyone used to be amused seeing our closeness.  One day she herself shared me about gender and sexual minority community. That time, I did not care about it much.

In this way, our Grade nine came to an end. Because her family was far, she had to leave this school as well. She left. That time, I really felt bad and I cried as well. As time passed, things started to get normal.

That is why I still remember that she used to be my first attraction. Those days, everyone did not use to get mobile phones. My father just returned from abroad. He brought me a cell phone.

Then I created a Facebook account. I got chance to read about LGBTI through various websites. Then finally I came to know about my sexuality. Otherwise, I had no information about this. Then, I found Pahichan Media through Facebook. This portal included the stories of people like us. Then I searched for people like me on facebook, and met a person who worked in district office of Blue Diamond Society, who took me to the office. Then I felt very happy meeting many people like me.

Everyone feels glad when they get to see people from the same community. Then I started to attend various programs being in contact with Blue Diamond Society. This is how I came up to Blue Diamond Society. Now I am currently in Bachelor’s Degree.

However, I am living my life. If someone questions about my gender identity, then I can fearlessly say “transgender man”. I have been treated well by my family till now, and hope the same forever. I am learning lesson on what life is and how to live this.

That is why, I have no complain about my family and society and what I want to tell friends like me is that if you are scared to come out because of your family and society, then do visit our Blue Diamond Society, who is fighting for our rights. The way I have opened up, I would like to encourage everyone to come out.