Painful stories of lesbians

Kathmandu (Pahichan) January 4 – Nirmal K. C (30) is a lesbian. Previously, she worked for country as a police officer. She is from Gulmi and now lives in Bara district. Since two and half years, she is staying with friends who are mainly girls. She is the youngest daughter of three brothers and one sister. After the family pressure, she got marriage at the age of 13-14.

When she grew up, she became attracted to the girl’s partner. Later, she came to know that she is lesbian. From two and half year, she was living with 25 years old lesbian friends. She wants to change her relationship into marriage. However, there is not a legal framework.

K.C said, ‘My friend forced to get married and also adopted the child’.  There is now law for the recognition of such relation. So, how can I accept her proposal? Due to the society we cannot keep our relation open.

K.C already confessed to her parents that they are living together for each other. She said, “Even in office people used to back bite me.”  If law gives permission, they are planning to marry. She said that due to legal obligation, she could not get partner’s citizenship from her name.

From Pokhera,  Bipana(46)  is also a lesbian. She is doing her own business. Bipana is facing a lot of domestic problems including pressure from Family to get marry. However, Bipana cannot live without her partner. They have planned to marry if law gives permission.  But in Nepal there is not any legislative law for the permission of same sex marriage. Doe to lack of law, they cannot convert the relation into marriage.

Samila from Chitwan is a lesbian. She is living with a girl partner about more than 20 years. Both of them are lesbian.  They meet together during the time of the Nepal police job.  Since from 2055, they are together. Now, Sarmila is in the age of 37 and her partner is 40.  After earning, both of them are able to buy house in Chitwan, Bharatpur.

They want to register the house in both of them.  But due to lack marriage registration, there were not any law formulated for registration of such relations. Now’ house is register in the name of Sarmila.  Samila said, there is not any marriage registration. Sharmil worry for property after death that my family claims for this property rather than the rights of the partner.

She added, ‘ longer time staying together but due to lack of law they are not able to marriage’.  Neither have marriage certificate.  Also want to adopt the child which may not fulfill. First time in 1997, South Africa Constitution includes the sexual and gender minority rights of equality. Up to 2018, 26 numbers of countries are found who had legal recognition of same sex marriage.

Millions of transgender are found in Nepal. According to the Mitini Nepal chairman of Laxmi ghalan, there are not approximate numbers of transgender in Nepal. But there are million number of transgender in Nepal. Needed to come openly.

About 5 thousands are come openly from Kathmandu, Jhapa, Makwanpur, Taplajung, Kavre, Sindhulipalchok, she said. She said, there is not situation to come openly. After open, they are hated and also able to leave the residential place.

She explains that there is no situation to return home due to the differences towards the views for transgender society. If they are able to return back home, then family start to give tougher. There is more problem when the law does not recognize it.From about 12 years the report was in pending at ministry office.

In 2006 Supreme Court were registered the report related to the subject of sexual and gender minorities’ rights, their right of marriage. In 2007 the Supreme Court given the issues decision to ensure the different rights of sexual and gender minorities.

According to the order of the supreme courts during the time of Prime Minister Madhav Kumar Nepal, after the study about the transgender Health ministry secretory Dr. Laxmi Raj Pathak and other 7 member committee were formed and then submit to the Nepal Government. In the committee, sociologist president Dr. Chaitana Misha, From Environment Ministry Chandashowari Acharya, From Human Rights Commission Basho Dev Bajagain, from Laws Ministry Hum Badhur K.c, From Nepal Police Bishwo Adhikari, and from issues registered Hari Phuyal member of involved were there.

After study, the report were submit through the Prime Minister to the Nepal government  which included a same sex marriage recognition in the world, experience of the recognition country give a same sex marriage, National legislative, impact to the society after given the affinities.  But these reports were shocked in the Ministry of Women, Children and Social Welfare.

What were included in the proposal report?

Report had mentioned that the committee prepared the proposal report for the Nepal Government about same sex marriage which should be well recognized after purified the Laws and recognized the law. In the long-term report of page 85 there is analysis not only about the same sex marriage, also related to the opposite sex marriage.  Suggesting of Married of gay, lesbian and transgender should be equally recognized and the European and American countries are generous in same sex marriage as well as proper place in Buddhism, Hindu and other religions. That’s why; Nepal will also be comfortable to accept same sex marriage.

The group after visiting the Norway (same sex marriage authority were accepted) gave a positive response and so give suggestion toward the Nepal. The report also includes legal provisions related to same sex marriage of those countries had studying the legal system of the Netherlands, Argentina, Canada, Spain which recognizes same sex marriage in the world to facilitate the government.

The report suggests that as Nepali society is trans-formative but in Nepal there is more discrimination and the discrimination should be reduced by country. so that the society has positive interest in same sex marriage. In coming two decades, all Western countries will have been promoting same sex marriage and the report has also mentioned the report to end the discrimination given by the Government of Nepal to same sex marriage.