Same story, shared pain
Bhasa Sharma / July 10 – A Bhramin girl of Makawanpur began to like another girl. Two girls who used to study at the same school had the character and behaviors like boys.They demonstrated the behavior and character of boys. Like the dresses, their day to day behavior were similar to boys. The strange is, by birth they were girls and they began to be attracted by each other. Both expressed their desires and they began to love each other.
When they came to Kathmandu after completing School Leaving Certificate(SLC) level, they named themselves like a boy and girl: Sanskar and Sanskriti. Now, both work in the same institution. Sanskar who wears the dress of boy tries to maintain his boy identity all the time. Sanskriti is obviousy look like a girl. They have told the house owner where they rent rooms that they are a married couple. But they are fearing that family members could disclose their proper identity.
The parents of Sanskriti has begun talks about her marriage. But, her family does not have any idea about her marriage with Sanskar. She has not informed her family about it. Neither she is going to accept marriage with a boy nor she has courage to tell her family. In reality, these are homosexual girls. They married but they can not give birth to children. Both have the passion of children, “We have a plan of upbringing the children of other people if we will have a good life,” both expressed their desire. In the Nepali Society, boy usually marries girl. In the context of homosexual, it is different. If they express desire to marriage they have to marry either with boy or girl. Boy usually marries with girl and ther will be names of boys and girls. “I used to love her, Sankskar said, “If family accepts, I am ready to take her in my home,” Sanskriti also has a desire to go his house as daughter in law. “If society adopts us as a usual, we do not have problems,” Sanskriti said, “ I am his wife.”
Both had to leave their homses after family and society did not accept their love. “Though we are homosexual couple, we want to live in our family and society,” both said, “Our society is still rigid on it and society is yet to be opened.” Sanskar does not have interest in the Kitchen but he will assit. Sanskriti takes all charges of Kitchen. However, they wash the clothes together and there is not discrimination in their works. Like Sanskar and Sanskriti, both homosexuals have got married but they have not been open. They are compelled to stay far from their family seeking favorable environment.
Tamang girls of Hetauda Lalita and Kabita have already accepted each other as life partners. Lalita was latter renamed as Lalit and married with Kabita. After family objected their relation, they are compelled to stay concealing their identity. Both say they are facing rough behavior from their own family. “We have already married and we can not part our ways,” Lalit said, “ But no one can understand our desire and interest.” These are the representatives cases. As family and society refuse to accept them, many homosexual couples are compelled to stay away from their home.
According to Pinki Gurung, Chairman of Blue Diamond Society, more than four hundred male-male, women-women and third gender have married and they are separate with their family. According to Study conducted by Blue Diamond Society in 2013, there were 3.65 LGBITI in Nepal.
Homosexuals and transgeder are facing several problems to due the citizenship. Only male and female is mentioned in citizenship but they faced problems when they grow differently. Pinki gurung has faced such problems many times. “The transgender is identified very latter,” she said, “they will turn opposite sex after the birth.” The people who already acquired citizenship before the provision of mentioning other category are facing problems.” Since two years, homosexual and transgender are receiving citizenship according to their own identity.
District Administration Office is seeking the document from th hospital. “There is a tendency of expelling from job if the identity of third gender and homosexual is disclosed, there is also discrimination in hospital, there are no separate beds and toilets which are creating problems,” said Gurung. “They are also facing difficulties under a same tent after earthquake.”
In the definition of marriage, only male and female are addressed,” she said, “ We are compelled to live concealing our identity.” Home sexual and transgender are facing problems everywhere: while opening bank account, while purchasing lands, while checking licence by police, while sitting in seats of public transport among others. In hospital, airports and public transportation, only male and female has been mentioned. They find difficulties whether to stay in the male or female row.There are several such problems.
Many countries have legalized same-sex marriage. There has been gradual discussions in Nepal regarding the same sex marriage. Nepal’s Supreme Court on Baishak 21, 2066 ordred the government to legalize same-sex marriage. The government formed a committed led by Laxmi Raj Pathak which submitted proposal to government three months ago. Even the committee members does not know about the document. “We believe in the government but do not know about the implementation,” said a member. Supreme Court has said that sexual intercourse between homosexual and transgender is not a criminal activities. But they are denied to marry. Such type of marriage is not registered. They also do not have access to property. The report states that discrimination and exclusion will be continued till they are provided the rights of sexual intercourse and right of marriage. “We are hopeful that government will make law soon,”Advocate Prem Bahadur Thapa said, “Recently, all American states legalized same saex marriage which would create positive atmosphere to make law in Nepal,”
Two weeks ago, America legalized same-sex marriage, Many people in Nepal welcomed the move. As international law influences Nepal’s law, rights activist say, it would impact Nepal. According to a right activist, two percent people in society are born with separate behavior and sexual identity. Four years ago there were reports the Son of Santosh Panta changed his gender and became daughter.
Activist say such people should get the right of marriage and property. There was dispute in America. Out of 9 judges, five were in favor of legalizing same sex marriage and four were against it. Soon after court decision Mark Jukarberg created a photo editing tool which made possible to change profile photo. The photos were turned into kindred color. Even in Nepal, knowingly and unknowingly, people changed their profile pictures. There are voices for and against it. According to Washington Post, till Ashad 16, 20 million people made their profile picture colorful.