There is a long struggle behind my today’s struggle: Jyoti Thapa
Your brief introduction, please
It’s me a Jyoti thapa from Bhaktapur District, Sipadol. I introduce myself as transgender. Since 2008, I am working in Blue diamond society. Recently, I am program officer in Blue diamond society.
Please elaborate about your identity as a transgender?
I am not female but my behavior is like a female and I was born with male body parts. So, I proudly introduce myself as transgender.
At first how did you know that you are different from other?
Firstly, we found out when we used to play tools. I used to play with sister such as ‘Bhadakuti’, marriage as a bride role, want to haversack of ladies. My behaviors were different from brothers’ friends. I was with behaviors of daughter. Such types of things were revolved in my mind.
After this types of activities, when did you remind as you were belongs to transgender?
Before that why I am as a ladies behavior but my morphological structures were male but mental appearance were female. During the school days, I felt totally different as well as unique but at the time of +2 studies, I felt totally uneasy. Morphological, whiskers were not appears and voice were as a female. In college, friends were gossiping about my character such they say like as gens, ladies or ‘Chakka’. These types of words hurt me. I grift and weep. But also I finished my +2 and at Bachelor, I halted my study due to my friend’s hurting words. Toilet was also creating a problem to left the college.
You talked about the uncomfortable, hesitated movement during the school level and +2 college levels. At that time what types of problem did you face?
I completed my primary level in village school but at that time I do not used to play football, run behind bus. I didn’t play with boys friends. All ladies of class introduced me as the discipline boy. So, I used to play with girls so that all the gens friends me teasing and irritated me. All friends in publicly used to say: what were his gender and morphology structure. External appearance, mental appearances were female but what about the internal appearance. At that time I felt tired as well as depressed.
At the starting, when you know about the transgender then what types of feeling were appeared in your mind?
Initially, I was sad. Then I recall my child age, behavior and character then I convinced myself. When I was child, society talked about my character but my parents convinced them as he is small but at teen age my characters were unchanged. So for the society, I should not show my own appeared character but I had double acting. I had a dream of using ornament and ladies clothes and also want to marry with handsome guys but my society doesn’t give me to show such types of behaviors. At that time, I felt unlucky. After that firstly for whom did you share as you were transgender? In the initial 1-2 years, I didn’t share with anyone. I used to cry anytime. When remember that movement, I feel uncomfortable. Until now my eyes are filled with tear. At that time I struggled which led to me a success. At that time, I am teacher of boarding school.
When did you share about your identity as a transgender to your Family?
As I wanted to become member of Blue Diamond Society, I contacted with BDS. Friends in Bhaktapur suggested me to involve in BDS Bhatakpur chapter. I started to work in CM Post. Initially, I did not provide by true identity. After I won beauty pageant and news came in newspaper my society knew about my identity. After some day’s culture program also organized in the society at that time I had get chance to give speech about my identity for 10-15 minutes so just before such program I gave my identity with my whole family member. Before share my identity, 2-3 years I suffered from depression my hole family support .
At starting what types of work were done by you for society?
In the beginning, awareness program were launched. So field visit and search the transgender. And also gives the education and testing of HIV/AIDS or sexual transmitted disease and preferred to the hospital for invective of sexual transmitted disease. In 2009 fund and awareness program were launched FPAN. In 2013, save the children helped us economically. There are 15 staffs in our office. For MSM/TG provide the service, keep in basic orientation training, testing HIV and refer different types of program. We are also working towards the eradication of HIV AIDS in the society.
During you established towards the Blue Diamond Society awareness. What types of challenges were there for you?
There are various challenges but I had tried various things to face such challenges. Mainly during field visits, Now’s a day’s people used respective words such as transgender, gay, lesbian, bisexual, and intersexual but some time ago due to lack of education people used different types of words such as ‘Chakka’ and ‘Namarda’. Our society does not fully accept HIV words. The society is more open now.
How many years it happened that Blue diamond society were established in Bhaktapur?
It was established in last of 2007. About 10-11 years ago.
Any types of problem do you want to share about the LGBTI?
There are many events and we are also launching various programs. There are transgender members which are not accepted by our society but also come out openly in different style. Some member get problem in education in college due to cannot share their own identity in family. So there were difficult times to spend the time in college and school. So after the marriage, transgender cannot accept the partner. So in such problem there will be police case. How they will get married, if there is not probability of having the child. Those types of problem are created which make me uneasy.
As recently branch of Blue diamond society, Bhaktapur work related to HIV/Aids. Isn’t it?
Mainly, it works for HiV/AIDS and Human rights. So for the removable of HiV/AIDS transmitted, prevention types of program were launched as used of antiseptic tools. Also include not making many partners. For launched different types of program global fund, save the children and other program launcher helped in lab testing and provide different awareness program for self-respect and aware about the prevention of HiV/AIDS.
At the end, what do you want to say?
At last I want to say love transgender, respect transgender. Transgender are also as other ordinary people. They have also equal rights as other people. That’s it. Right now I am a successful person with a profession Fashion Model.