{"id":10639,"date":"2018-08-08T10:34:39","date_gmt":"2018-08-08T04:49:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/pahichan.com\/?p=10639"},"modified":"2018-08-08T10:34:39","modified_gmt":"2018-08-08T04:49:39","slug":"how-to-discuss-gender-identity-with-children-and-teens","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/pahichan.com\/en\/how-to-discuss-gender-identity-with-children-and-teens\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Discuss Gender Identity with Children and Teens"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Kathmandu\/Pahichan &#8211; There are many complex topics school counselors must tackle, and issues related to gender identity certainly fit the bill. Although this topic is frequently misunderstood, conversations related to gender identity are becoming more common in a variety of settings. With the unique role they play, school counselors can provide objective education for children and teens who have questions and support those who identify as transgender or gender nonconforming.<\/span>\u00a0<span class=\"s1\">Doing so requires a better understanding of the issues involved and how to effectively discuss this important topic.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\"><b>A growing conversation<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Gender identity is defined as one\u2019s personal experience of one\u2019s gender, separate from biological sex. As visibility for transgender and gender nonconforming communities increases, there\u2019s a growing need for\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.tolerance.org\/magazine\/summer-2013\/the-gender-spectrum\"><span class=\"s3\">informed and supportive discussions<\/span><\/a>\u00a0to promote inclusivity and safety for those who are affected. That\u2019s why the USC Rossier\u2019s online\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/rossieronline.usc.edu\/academics\/master-school-counseling-online\/\"><span class=\"s3\">ME in School Counseling<\/span><\/a>\u00a0program created \u201c<a href=\"https:\/\/rossieronline.usc.edu\/students-and-gender-identity\/\"><span class=\"s3\">Students and Gender Identity: A Toolkit for Schools<\/span><\/a>.\u201d This resource provides key principles for communicating about this topic; strategies for creating an inclusive environment; and a\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/rossieronline.usc.edu\/blog\/gender-identity-glossary\/\"><span class=\"s3\">glossary of terms<\/span><\/a>\u00a0to describe gender expression and identity to ensure supportive communication. Here are a few:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul class=\"ul1\">\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Agender: Not identifying with any particular gender; sometimes referred to as \u201cnongender.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Bigender: Identifying with both male and female genders.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Cisgender: Someone whose gender identity is the same as the sex they were designated at birth.<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Gender Binary: The cultural concept of two traditional and opposed genders, male and female.<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Gender-Fluid: Someone who identifies outside the male\/female binary or with a range of femaleness and maleness. Also referred to as gender-queer.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Polygender: Identifying with multiple genders.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Third-Gender: A person who identifies neither as male or female.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Transgender (TG): People with a gender identity different from the one assigned at birth.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<div class=\"td-a-rec td-a-rec-id-content_inlineleft  td_uid_6_5b6a199ecc4c3_rand td_block_template_1\">\n<div id=\"thega-50411521\" class=\"thega-content-inline\">\n<div id=\"div-gpt-ad-1522795113815-0\" class=\"adsbygoogle\" data-google-query-id=\"CO_Jia7S3NwCFUSSdwodwUIMbQ\">\n<div id=\"google_ads_iframe_\/79149211\/thegaycontent_inline_0__container__\"><b>Talking to children and teens<\/b><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Although talking to kids about gender identity might seem like a daunting task, some find that\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.huffingtonpost.com\/entry\/its-not-that-hard-talking-to-children-about-gender_us_5899f3b0e4b0985224db5a3f\"><span class=\"s3\">children make it easier than expected<\/span><\/a>. Since\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.plannedparenthood.org\/learn\/parents\/identity\"><span class=\"s3\">experts believe<\/span><\/a>\u00a0most children begin to identify strongly with a gender as early as 3 years old, these conversations may occur earlier than you think. When they do, it\u2019s important to use an age-appropriate approach to meet a child\u2019s individual needs. Planned Parenthood provides some specific recommendations about how to do that:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul class=\"ul1\">\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\"><b>Preschool<\/b><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul class=\"ul1\">\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Examine your own values to address unconscious biases you may be communicating.<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Be aware of the influence of gender-specific interventions you use regarding things like books, toys, etc.<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Make the most of a child\u2019s curiosity about others to create teachable moments about accepting and embracing our differences.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0 \u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Let children make their own activity choices instead of assigning them to gender boxes.<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">If a child wants to talk about gender, make the most of the opportunity by exploring stereotypical language and ideas they may have picked up.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul class=\"ul1\">\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\"><b>Elementary school<\/b><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul class=\"ul1\">\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Be aware kids become keenly aware of their own gender identities during these years.<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Encourage and support a child\u2019s varied interests as they explore their options.<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Use books, movies, TV and other resources to provide examples of role models that defy gender stereotypes.<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Encourage conversations about various family structures and reinforce inclusion and acceptance.<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Be honest and direct when answering questions, offering age-appropriate explanations.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul class=\"ul1\">\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\"><b>Middle school<\/b><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul class=\"ul1\">\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Know that during these years, kids are starting to better understand who they are in relation to others.\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Educate preteens about gender identity, sexual orientation and gender expression and be a role model of respect and support.<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Learn the correct words to use when talking about transgender and gender nonconforming people so you can be supportive in the right way.<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Encourage conversations that help kids explore their true interests that aren\u2019t tied to gender stereotypes.<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Talk with preteens about their feelings and encourage free expression.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul class=\"ul1\">\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\"><b>High school<\/b><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<ul class=\"ul1\">\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Since sexual orientation and gender identity are two different things, make sure you and the teen are on the same page when discussing them.<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Encourage open and honest discussion by showing respect and support.<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Understand that by this age, most individuals are no longer exploring, but have fully embraced the gender identity they\u2019ve chosen.<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">If a teen has self-identified as transgender or gender nonconforming, use the teen\u2019s preferred gender pronouns.<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Provide guidance and support to teens who are grappling with coming out to others.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\"><b>Strategies for parents<\/b><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Parents whose kids identify with a gender or term outside the \u201cnorm\u201d can benefit from all these tips, but it\u2019s critical to remember that a parent\u2019s response to these dynamics can have profound and lasting implications. According to\u00a0<a href=\"https:\/\/www.genderspectrum.org\/explore-topics\/parenting-and-family\/\"><span class=\"s3\">Gender Spectrum<\/span><\/a><\/span><span class=\"s3\">:<\/span><span class=\"s1\">\u00a0\u201cResearch has shown that supportive parenting can significantly affect our children\u2019s positive outlook on their lives, their mental health and their self-esteem. On the other hand, rejecting parenting practices are directly correlated to\u00a0gender-expansive\u00a0and\u00a0transgender\u00a0youth being more depressed and suicidal.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\"><span class=\"s1\">Here are strategies Gender Spectrum recommends for parents:<\/span><\/p>\n<ul class=\"ul1\">\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Create a supportive family environment.<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Require respect within the family.<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Express love and support for a child\u2019s gender expression.<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Allow zero tolerance for disrespect or pressure.<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Maintain open and honest communication with the child.<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Support all members of the family who need it.<\/span><\/li>\n<li class=\"li1\"><span class=\"s1\">Allow children to be exactly who they are.<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Kathmandu\/Pahichan &#8211; There are many complex topics school counselors must tackle, and issues related to gender identity certainly fit the bill. Although this topic is frequently misunderstood, conversations related to gender identity are becoming more common in a variety of settings. With the unique role they play, school counselors can provide objective education for children and teens who have questions and support those who identify as transgender or gender nonconforming.\u00a0Doing so requires a better understanding of the issues involved and how to effectively discuss this important topic.<br \/>\nA growing conversation<br \/>\nGender identity &#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":44,"featured_media":10640,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,621,492,490,11],"tags":[507,458],"class_list":["post-10639","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-human-rights","category-news","category-opinion","category-slider","category-world","tag-third-gender","tag-transgender"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pahichan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10639","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pahichan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pahichan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pahichan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/44"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pahichan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10639"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/pahichan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10639\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10641,"href":"https:\/\/pahichan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10639\/revisions\/10641"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pahichan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10640"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pahichan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10639"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pahichan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10639"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pahichan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10639"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}