{"id":11562,"date":"2019-01-06T15:53:27","date_gmt":"2019-01-06T10:08:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/pahichan.com\/?p=11562"},"modified":"2019-01-06T15:54:29","modified_gmt":"2019-01-06T10:09:29","slug":"this-woman-offered-to-be-the-mom-at-any-gay-wedding-her-post-went-viral","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/pahichan.com\/en\/this-woman-offered-to-be-the-mom-at-any-gay-wedding-her-post-went-viral\/","title":{"rendered":"This woman offered to be the \u2018mom\u2019 at any gay wedding. Her post went viral."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Kathmandu (Pahichan) January 6 &#8211; After Sara Cunningham\u2019s youngest child told her in 2011 he was gay, it took years for the Oklahoma City secretary and mother of two to accept it. Eventually, she began to stand up against her conservative Baptist church\u2019s stance that homosexuality is shameful.<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;We tried to \u2018pray the gay away\u2019 for years,\u201d said Cunningham, 55. \u201cAnd I felt like I had to choose between my son and my faith.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She chose her son. In July she decided to take a stand in another way. Literally.<\/p>\n<p>Saddened on learning of a same-sex couple whose parents refused to attend their wedding, Cunningham wrote a short post on Facebook over the summer offering to \u201cstand in\u201d as a mother at LGBTQ marriage ceremonies.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cPSA. If you need a mom to attend your same-sex wedding because your biological mom won\u2019t,\u201d she wrote, \u201ccall me. I\u2019m there. I\u2019ll be your biggest fan. I\u2019ll even bring the bubbles.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>With it, she posted a photo of herself raising her hand and wearing a necklace with a photo of her son, Parker Cunningham, and his partner at the time. The post was popular, and even seven months after she posted it is still going strong, with more than 10,000 \u201clikes\u201d and almost 9,000 shares.<\/p>\n<p>People took her up on her offer. Cunningham stood in at her first wedding in November, and she has three other LGBTQ weddings booked for 2019. She also has officiated at the weddings of nearly a dozen same-sex couples in Oklahoma, Mississippi and Texas. She left her Baptist faith about four years ago but still considers herself Christian, and she became an ordained minister at her local courthouse so she could perform weddings.<\/p>\n<p>Cunningham\u2019s story and Facebook post caught the eye of some high-profile folks, including actress Jamie Lee Curtis, who saw the post and spent three days in Oklahoma in September with the Cunningham family. Curtis bought the film rights to \u201cHow We Sleep at Night,\u201d a memoir Cunningham published in 2014 about her relationship with her son.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI was moved by her journey,\u201d Curtis said in an interview with The Washington Post. \u201cAnd I continue to be thrilled as her movement is catching on. I hope to do justice to her story and the story of so many marginalized people in the LGBTQ community.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Curtis said she was drawn right away to Cunningham\u2019s story.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI saw the impact that her movement has already had, in and around Oklahoma City,\u201d Curtis said. \u201cIt\u2019s exciting to watch something that was born out of such conflict develop into something of such deep compassion and expansive acceptance.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>[Utah woman\u2019s same-sex partner of 50 years died. Then a judge declared them legally married.]<\/p>\n<p>Cunningham, in turn, has been stunned by the enormous response to her Facebook post.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI never dreamed that something I posted out of frustration would take off like this,\u201d she said. \u201cBut I\u2019m glad that it did. I\u2019ve been hearing from lots of other parents who are also willing to \u2018stand up and stand in.\u2019 \u201d<\/p>\n<p>Here is a sampling of some of the comments on her post: \u201cMy husband and I are in Richmond, VA and are ready to volunteer!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI would also love to be a stand in mom. Everyone deserves love and happiness! What you are doing is wonderful! I would love to help!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThis is the most beautiful post with the most wonderful comments I\u2019ve read in my life. You make me tear up \u2764\ufe0f.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m in Virginia Beach if anyone needs a stand-in dad!!! (I\u2019m 17 but I\u2019m full of dad vibes).\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The movement Cunningham started on Facebook is one of several ways she has been involved in helping the community. In 2017, she founded Free Mom Hugs, a nonprofit that provides support and resources to LGBTQ people and their families.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cSara always says to surround yourself with people who love you and want to celebrate you,\u201d said Tabatha Cash, 28, who saw Cunningham\u2019s Facebook post and asked her to stand in for her mother at her wedding. She and Marlee Castillo, 25, were married in November in Spearman, Tex.<\/p>\n<p>Cunningham happily accepted. For the Texas wedding, Cunningham bought her own plane ticket and said Castillo\u2019s mother paid for her hotel room.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThere are hundreds like me who sometimes feel like we don\u2019t deserve [love] because of the problems with our families,\u201d Cash said. \u201cTo feel loved and welcomed by strangers \u2014 people who aren\u2019t obligated to love us \u2014 is a different kind of joy and warmth.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Another person who saw Cunningham\u2019s post, Rob Panos, plans to marry his partner, Jonathan Salazar, 24, in New York City in the fall. He said as soon as he read it, he knew she was meant to attend their wedding.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt struck a chord with me,\u201d said Panos, 40. \u201cMy fiance has a very tattered relationship with his mom. Mine is also a bit rocky. They, unfortunately, don\u2019t provide us with the unconditional love that we need and deserve.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>He added: \u201cWe truly can\u2019t wait to hug her.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>When Cunningham\u2019s son came out to her in 2011, she never imagined she would reach out to LGBTQ strangers, let alone share their wedding celebrations, she said. Her own journey of acceptance was bumpy and painful.<\/p>\n<p>Although she had long suspected her son was gay, \u201cI thought it might just be a phase,\u201d she said. \u201cAnd then when he turned 21, he \u2018came out\u2019 to me and said that he\u2019d met someone and needed me to be okay with it.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>At the time, she was not. Her son struggled with it, as well.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cNot only was I living in constant fear as a gay kid in conservative Oklahoma, we were fighting a spiritual battle inside the walls of a non-affirming church,\u201d Parker Cunningham said. \u201cMy mother and I were both struggling with what we thought was a literal \u2018life or death\u2019 situation when it came to my soul and how I\u2019d spend eternity.\u201d<\/p>\n<p data-elm-loc=\"32\">He said they both felt as though lightning might \u201cstrike them down\u201d after he revealed he was gay. \u201cWe had no idea how to talk about it,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n<p data-elm-loc=\"34\">Devastated by her son\u2019s news, Sara Cunningham fell into a depression.<\/p>\n<p data-elm-loc=\"35\">\u201cI prayed, I fasted, I burned incense and shamed my son into burning his journals,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n<p data-elm-loc=\"36\">It was only when she and her husband, Rex Cunningham, began to reexamine what was most important to them that they became more open to their son\u2019s sexuality.<\/p>\n<p data-elm-loc=\"37\">\u201cAfter Parker came out, our family experienced alienation and separation,\u201d Sara Cunningham said. \u201cWe\u2019d been in our church for 20 years, and we suddenly had to absorb this idea that our son was unworthy. They didn\u2019t know how to minister to us.\u201d<\/p>\n<p data-elm-loc=\"38\">Cunningham desperately wanted somebody to talk to but did not know where to turn. So in 2014, shocked to learn about the high rate of suicide among young LGBTQ people, \u201cI became an accidental activist,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n<p data-elm-loc=\"39\">She and her husband attended a gay pride parade in Norman, Okla., with their son.<\/p>\n<p data-elm-loc=\"40\">\u201cIt was my first encounter with the LGBTQ community, and it was as beautiful as it could be,\u201d Cunningham said. \u201cI realized that I\u2019d been alienated for years by own ignorance and fear.\u201d<\/p>\n<p data-elm-loc=\"41\">The following year, Cunningham attended the parade again, this time wearing a homemade button that read, \u201cFree Mom Hugs.&#8221;<\/p>\n<div class=\"inline-content inline-photo inline-photo-normal horizontal-photo\" data-elm-loc=\"42\"><a name=\"B7IEWBCWGNGPRD7O6L2RABSE7A\"><\/a><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"_3-to-2 hi-res-lazy courtesy-of-the-lazy-loader\" src=\"https:\/\/www.washingtonpost.com\/resizer\/mq-VopAzcmrCDACSCQooSFI3xtM=\/738x0\/arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com\/public\/B7IEWBCWGNGPRD7O6L2RABSE7A.jpg\" data-hi-res-src=\"https:\/\/www.washingtonpost.com\/resizer\/mq-VopAzcmrCDACSCQooSFI3xtM=\/738x0\/arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com\/public\/B7IEWBCWGNGPRD7O6L2RABSE7A.jpg\" data-low-res-src=\"https:\/\/www.washingtonpost.com\/resizer\/JPcTPLWmsFK4PLVns6Q7sHQnGxY=\/480x0\/arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com\/public\/B7IEWBCWGNGPRD7O6L2RABSE7A.jpg\" data-raw-src=\"https:\/\/arc-anglerfish-washpost-prod-washpost.s3.amazonaws.com\/public\/B7IEWBCWGNGPRD7O6L2RABSE7A.jpg\" data-threshold=\"480\" \/><br \/>\n<span class=\"pb-caption\">Sara Cunningham with her son, Parker, at a 2018 Pride Day event in Norman, Okla. (Katrina Kalb)<\/span><\/div>\n<p data-elm-loc=\"43\">&#8220;Whenever I made eye contact with anybody, I&#8217;d offer to give them a hug or a high five,\u201d she said. \u201cI went home covered with glitter.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p data-elm-loc=\"44\">Parker Cunningham said his mother\u2019s simplest gift is also the most powerful: \u201cIt\u2019s just showing up and reminding people that they are loved unconditionally.\u201d<\/p>\n<p data-elm-loc=\"44\">Source :\u00a0washington post<\/p>\n<p data-elm-loc=\"38\">\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Kathmandu (Pahichan) January 6 &#8211; After Sara Cunningham\u2019s youngest child told her in 2011 he was gay, it took years for the Oklahoma City secretary and mother of two to accept it. Eventually, she began to stand up against her conservative Baptist church\u2019s stance that homosexuality is shameful.<br \/>\n&#8220;We tried to \u2018pray the gay away\u2019 for years,\u201d said Cunningham, 55. \u201cAnd I felt like I had to choose between my son and my faith.\u201d<br \/>\nShe chose her son. In July she decided to take a stand in another way. Literally.<br \/>\nSaddened on learning &#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":44,"featured_media":11563,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20,621,492,490,11],"tags":[1106],"class_list":["post-11562","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-current-issue","category-news","category-opinion","category-slider","category-world","tag-lgbtq"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pahichan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11562","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pahichan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pahichan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pahichan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/44"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pahichan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11562"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/pahichan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11562\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11564,"href":"https:\/\/pahichan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11562\/revisions\/11564"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pahichan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/11563"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pahichan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11562"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pahichan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11562"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pahichan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11562"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}