After a relationship of two years, Ramita and her partner Shilu, both 22, went to the Sunkoshi Rural Municipality in Sindhuli on Thursday to have their marriage registered.<\/p>\n
They thought it would be an easy process as Nepal\u2019s Supreme Court had passed a verdict in June 2023 to allow same-sex marriage.<\/p>\n
But instead of recognition, they faced delay and rejection at the hands of the local unit\u2014and ultimately, separation, enforced by the police.<\/p>\n
The local unit cited a lack of legal clarity. \u201cWe don\u2019t know about this same-sex marriage issue or the legal procedures for it,\u201d a local unit official told Shilu, who the Post is identifying with a pseudonym to protect her privacy. The official added that they would need 15 days to study the case.<\/p>\n
With no other option, the couple decided to wait. But their private decision to marry soon became public.<\/p>\n
Ramita\u2019s family, unwilling to accept their relationship, filed a missing person\u2019s report with the police. Both families arrived at the district police office in Lalitpur the next morning, where the situation escalated.<\/p>\n
Ramita\u2019s sister-in-law aggressively confronted Shilu. In separate discussions arranged for negotiation, Ramita, also identified with a pseudonym for privacy, clearly said that she wanted to marry Shilu, but her family refused to allow it.<\/p>\n
Concerned about safety, the police sent both women to the women\u2019s cell in Jawalakhel. However, even there, Ramita\u2019s sister-in-law attempted to forcibly drag her away in what Shilu described as \u201can abduction-like manner.\u201d The police initially warned the family, but later reversed course.<\/p>\n
Despite Ramita\u2019s repeated insistence that she felt unsafe with her family, SSP Shyam Krishna Adhikari, chief of Lalitpur district police office, handed her over to her brother and sister-in-law. \u201cI was forcefully handed over to people who I feel unsafe with,\u201d Ramita said. \u201cThe police didn\u2019t hear my plea.\u201d<\/p>\n
At the police station, Ramita happened to be holding Shilu\u2019s hand to protect her from verbal and physical threats from her sister-in-law. For that, both Ramita and Shilu told the Post that SSP Adhikari reacted with hostility.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe SSP used very bad words that I cannot even mention,\u201d Shilu said. \u201cHe said, \u2018What drama is this? Even a boy and a girl cannot hold hands, and you two women? What kind of drama are you doing?\u2019 He verbally abused me and told us to let go of each other\u2019s hands.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ramita seconded that. \u201cThey treated us badly and mocked our relationship,\u201d she said. According to Shilu, they were even demeaningly asked to show proof of their relationship.<\/p>\n
But SSP Adhikari denied any misconduct. \u201cI didn\u2019t know about same-sex marriage\u2026 legally, it seems possible,\u201d he said. \u201cBut Ramita\u2019s family had filed a case saying their daughter had been away for seven days, so we had to investigate.\u201d<\/p>\n
Asked why Ramita was returned to a family she described as abusive, Adhikari said, \u201cWe couldn\u2019t find any proof of physical abuse. She didn\u2019t have any marks or anything. Her mother and sister-in-law were there. If they didn\u2019t love her, why would they come?\u201d<\/p>\n
He added, \u201cWe don\u2019t have any ill intent. I even told their family they are adults and should not be forced into anything. But the law doesn\u2019t give us the authority to hand over one girl to another girl. If it were a case of a man and a woman, it would be quite different.\u201d<\/p>\n
For Ramita, the trauma is far from over. \u201cMy sister-in-law and other family members want to take me to a dhami (faith healer) to cure my \u2018disease\u2019 of wanting to marry another woman,\u201d she said. \u201cSince my period is going on, they\u2019ve stopped. But once it ends, I don\u2019t know what kind of torture I\u2019ll endure.\u201d<\/p>\n
Her sister-in-law, she said, told her, \u201cEven if you die or become disabled, I\u2019ll still make you marry a man.\u201d<\/p>\n
The incident has drawn condemnation from rights activists. Sunil Babu Pant, former constituent assembly member and executive director of MayaKo Pahichan Nepal, called it a \u201cgrave violation of human rights.\u201d<\/p>\n
In a press statement, he said, \u201cA lesbian woman has been abducted with the involvement of the police. This is not just an administrative failure but reflects the state\u2019s irresponsible attitude toward the LGBTQ+ community.\u201d<\/p>\n
The Supreme Court, in June 2023, issued an interim order granting same-sex and \u2018third-gender\u2019 individuals the right to marry. Later that year, in November, the government formally recognised a marriage between two Nepalis of the same legal gender for the first time. Over 15 same-sex couples have since registered their marriages.<\/p>\n
The court had directed the government to create a separate marriage register for queer couples, granting them legal recognition. But local authorities have been inconsistent in applying this order, as seen in the case of Ramita and Shilu.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere is a law in place,\u201d Ramita said. \u201cYet why is it so difficult? How come neither the police nor the Sunkoshi Municipality understood us?\u201d<\/p>\n
MayaKo Pahichan Nepal has demanded safety for both women, an investigation into the police\u2019s role, and systemic reform to prevent such incidents.<\/p>\n
For now, Ramita remains in fear of her family, and Shilu waits, grieving the forced separation, hoping for justice.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe are very afraid\u2026 I cannot even communicate with her [Ramita] properly, she is in a hostage-like condition,\u201d said Shilu. \u201cWe need urgent help from responsible bodies. Marriage is our human right, so why are we being denied and condemned because of it?\u201d<\/p>\n
We have sourced this content from the Kathmandu Post<\/a>.<\/strong><\/p>\n