{"id":7030,"date":"2017-04-12T09:42:41","date_gmt":"2017-04-12T03:57:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/pahichan.com\/?p=7030"},"modified":"2017-04-12T09:42:41","modified_gmt":"2017-04-12T03:57:41","slug":"lgbt-people-need-straight-allies-to-lend-a-helping-hand","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/pahichan.com\/en\/lgbt-people-need-straight-allies-to-lend-a-helping-hand\/","title":{"rendered":"LGBT people need straight allies to lend a helping hand"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span class=\"drop-cap\"><span class=\"drop-cap__inner\">Kathmandu (Pahichan) April 12 &#8211; I<\/span><\/span>recently thanked an old school friend for being one of the only people I heard, back in the grisly early 1990s, saying he was cool with gay guys. Men then seemed to believe if you didn\u2019t hate \u201cpoofs\u201d it meant you were one. To be anything less than hostile seemed to threaten a penetration of their masculinity, metaphorically and literally. But my mate Nic wasn\u2019t in any doubt of his own sexuality and so wasn\u2019t disturbed by anyone else\u2019s. Who knew that\u2019s how it worked?<\/p>\n<aside class=\"element element-rich-link element--thumbnail element-rich-link--upgraded\" data-component=\"rich-link\" data-link-name=\"rich-link-1 | 1\">\n<div class=\"rich-link tone-news--item \">\n<div class=\"rich-link__container\">\n<div class=\"rich-link__image-container u-responsive-ratio\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i.guim.co.uk\/img\/media\/968920491327b63ed144ccfc6294f8ea33d06ab8\/0_81_4468_2682\/master\/4468.jpg?w=460&amp;q=55&amp;auto=format&amp;usm=12&amp;fit=max&amp;s=f74f7d788b0e172cf324162b1208207c\" \/><\/div>\n<div class=\"rich-link__header\">\n<h1 class=\"rich-link__title\"><a class=\"rich-link__link\">Dutch men walk hand in hand for solidarity after gay couple attacked<\/a><\/h1>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"rich-link__read-more\">\n<div class=\"rich-link__arrow\">Most of the on-the-street grief I\u2019ve received \u2013 yells, threats \u2013 have been from straight men. But over the years, my fear of them en masse has cooled. I\u2019ve met lots of people who aren\u2019t freaked out by gayness (otherwise known as normal, decent human beings) or by trans people, such as the managers of a cinema I worked at 20 years ago who called a meeting to passionately tell us to respect a new trans member of staff.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/aside>\n<p>This week straight men in the Netherlands <a class=\"u-underline\" title=\"\" href=\"http:\/\/edition.cnn.com\/2017\/04\/05\/europe\/men-holding-hands-netherlands\/\" data-link-name=\"in body link\">publicly held hands<\/a> to protest the violent attack by a group of men on a male couple who dared to hold hands in public, something most gay couples in the UK are wary of doing. (Last month a 23 year old was <a class=\"u-underline\" title=\"\" href=\"http:\/\/www.standard.co.uk\/news\/crime\/man-glassed-for-holding-hands-with-boyfriend-in-unprovoked-homophobic-attack-at-peckham-wetherspoon-a3485966.html\" data-link-name=\"in body link\">glassed in a south London pub<\/a> for holding his boyfriend\u2019s hand).<\/p>\n<p>Using the hashtag #allemannenhandinhand (\u201cAll men hand in hand\u201d) <a class=\"u-underline\" title=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/www.theguardian.com\/world\/2017\/apr\/06\/dutch-men-hand-in-hand-solidarity-gay-couple-attacked\" data-link-name=\"in body link\">politician Alexander Pechtold<\/a>, leader of the Democrats 66 party, held the hand of his colleague, Wouter Koolmees, and said, \u201cIn the Netherlands we think it is quite normal to express who you are \u2026 it\u2019s important that we show this week that it\u2019s absolutely normal.\u201d<\/p>\n<figure id=\"img-2\" class=\"element element-image img--landscape  fig--narrow-caption fig--has-shares \" data-component=\"image\" data-media-id=\"97946685cc4d2843b7262ac615eed47090884de6\">\n<div class=\"u-responsive-ratio\"><picture><source srcset=\"https:\/\/i.guim.co.uk\/img\/media\/97946685cc4d2843b7262ac615eed47090884de6\/0_185_4134_2480\/master\/4134.jpg?w=620&amp;q=20&amp;auto=format&amp;usm=12&amp;fit=max&amp;dpr=2&amp;s=4f0807553f079c879b53fa7f73d8d5b7 1240w\" media=\"(min-width: 660px) and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 1.25), (min-width: 660px) and (min-resolution: 120dpi)\" sizes=\"620px\" \/><source srcset=\"https:\/\/i.guim.co.uk\/img\/media\/97946685cc4d2843b7262ac615eed47090884de6\/0_185_4134_2480\/master\/4134.jpg?w=620&amp;q=55&amp;auto=format&amp;usm=12&amp;fit=max&amp;s=a7f894f81c834d055838a36a381ecf44 620w\" media=\"(min-width: 660px)\" sizes=\"620px\" \/><source srcset=\"https:\/\/i.guim.co.uk\/img\/media\/97946685cc4d2843b7262ac615eed47090884de6\/0_185_4134_2480\/master\/4134.jpg?w=605&amp;q=20&amp;auto=format&amp;usm=12&amp;fit=max&amp;dpr=2&amp;s=d9215d7bc8e77b405902ec500d29fe9b 1210w\" media=\"(min-width: 480px) and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 1.25), (min-width: 480px) and (min-resolution: 120dpi)\" sizes=\"605px\" \/><source srcset=\"https:\/\/i.guim.co.uk\/img\/media\/97946685cc4d2843b7262ac615eed47090884de6\/0_185_4134_2480\/master\/4134.jpg?w=605&amp;q=55&amp;auto=format&amp;usm=12&amp;fit=max&amp;s=016f0ff88d7bdd6085603c7f254507c9 605w\" media=\"(min-width: 480px)\" sizes=\"605px\" \/><source srcset=\"https:\/\/i.guim.co.uk\/img\/media\/97946685cc4d2843b7262ac615eed47090884de6\/0_185_4134_2480\/master\/4134.jpg?w=445&amp;q=20&amp;auto=format&amp;usm=12&amp;fit=max&amp;dpr=2&amp;s=e85728be223716e51013e360228d9308 890w\" media=\"(min-width: 0px) and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 1.25), (min-width: 0px) and (min-resolution: 120dpi)\" sizes=\"445px\" \/><source srcset=\"https:\/\/i.guim.co.uk\/img\/media\/97946685cc4d2843b7262ac615eed47090884de6\/0_185_4134_2480\/master\/4134.jpg?w=445&amp;q=55&amp;auto=format&amp;usm=12&amp;fit=max&amp;s=c441c9cdff34123ebb17c9ee63d49e6e 445w\" media=\"(min-width: 0px)\" sizes=\"445px\" \/><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"gu-image\" src=\"https:\/\/i.guim.co.uk\/img\/media\/97946685cc4d2843b7262ac615eed47090884de6\/0_185_4134_2480\/master\/4134.jpg?w=300&amp;q=55&amp;auto=format&amp;usm=12&amp;fit=max&amp;s=d7ae2c82cfe1ce96909672be27de4e3e\" alt=\"A march against anti-gay violence in Amsterdam on Wednesday.\" \/><\/picture><\/div>\n<div class=\"block-share block-share--article  hide-on-mobile \" data-link-name=\"block share\"><a class=\"rounded-icon block-share__item block-share__item--facebook js-blockshare-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/dialog\/share?app_id=180444840287&amp;href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.theguardian.com%2Fcommentisfree%2F2017%2Fapr%2F06%2Flgbt-community-straight-men-holding-hands-netherlands-homophobic-attack%3FCMP%3Dshare_btn_fb%26page%3Dwith%3Aimg-2%23img-2&amp;picture=https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.guim.co.uk%2F97946685cc4d2843b7262ac615eed47090884de6%2F0_185_4134_2480%2F4134.jpg\" target=\"_blank\" data-link-name=\"social facebook\"><span class=\"u-h\">Facebook<\/span><\/a><a class=\"rounded-icon block-share__item block-share__item--twitter js-blockshare-link\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?text=LGBT%20people%20need%20straight%20allies%20to%20lend%20a%20helping%20hand%20%7C%20Matthew%20Todd&amp;url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.theguardian.com%2Fcommentisfree%2F2017%2Fapr%2F06%2Flgbt-community-straight-men-holding-hands-netherlands-homophobic-attack%3FCMP%3Dshare_btn_tw%26page%3Dwith%3Aimg-2%23img-2\" target=\"_blank\" data-link-name=\"social twitter\"><span class=\"u-h\">Twitter<\/span><\/a><a class=\"rounded-icon block-share__item block-share__item--pinterest js-blockshare-link\" href=\"http:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/pin\/create\/button\/?description=LGBT%20people%20need%20straight%20allies%20to%20lend%20a%20helping%20hand%20%7C%20Matthew%20Todd&amp;url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.theguardian.com%2Fcommentisfree%2F2017%2Fapr%2F06%2Flgbt-community-straight-men-holding-hands-netherlands-homophobic-attack%3Fpage%3Dwith%3Aimg-2%23img-2&amp;media=https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.guim.co.uk%2F97946685cc4d2843b7262ac615eed47090884de6%2F0_185_4134_2480%2F4134.jpg\" target=\"_blank\" data-link-name=\"social pinterest\"><span class=\"u-h\">Pinterest<\/span><\/a><\/div><figcaption class=\"caption caption--img caption caption--img\">A march against anti-gay violence in Amsterdam on Wednesday. Photograph: Evert Elzinga\/EPA<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>Social media showed guys holding other guys\u2019 hands: members of the Dutch UN delegation in New York, its London ambassadors, boxers, policemen, medics and others.<\/p>\n<div id=\"dfp-ad--inline1\" class=\"js-ad-slot ad-slot ad-slot--inline ad-slot--inline1 ad-slot--rendered\" data-link-name=\"ad slot inline1\" data-name=\"inline1\" data-mobile=\"1,1|2,2|300,250|fluid\" data-desktop=\"1,1|2,2|300,250|620,1|620,350|fluid\" data-google-query-id=\"CNLi8KSCntMCFQu8jgodQNINrA\"><\/div>\n<p>It is surprisingly powerful and speaks to an easily forgotten truth in LGBT politics: we need allies.<\/p>\n<p>In Pride?, <a class=\"u-underline\" title=\"\" href=\"http:\/\/attitude.co.uk\/new-documentary-explores-the-meaning-of-pride\/\" data-link-name=\"in body link\">a forthcoming documentary film<\/a> that questions that word\u2019s meaning, Lisa Power, one of Stonewall\u2019s founders, says the group was born after the movement mistakenly believed it could stop Thatcher\u2019s <a class=\"u-underline\" title=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/www.theguardian.com\/politics\/2003\/nov\/17\/uk.gayrights\" data-link-name=\"in body link\">section 28<\/a> with protest alone, without the help of straight allies.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s clear LGBT people making their voices heard made the biggest impact on the progression of equality, but straight allies were crucial, too. From TV producers including gay characters on shows and public figures such as the glorious <a class=\"u-underline\" title=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/www.theguardian.com\/media\/2010\/oct\/17\/claire-rayner-sane-voice\" data-link-name=\"in body link\">agony aunt Claire Rayner<\/a> demanding \u201cwe need to change this fucking stupid law\u201d to the mainstream celebrities at fundraisers and in the gay press \u2013 they all helped change public opinion. Cross-party support was vital. Conservative MP Edwina Currie tabled the <a class=\"u-underline\" title=\"\" href=\"http:\/\/www.independent.co.uk\/news\/uk\/gay-age-of-consent-currie-needed-just-14-labour-supporters-noes-from-opposition-parties-that-were-1395876.html\" data-link-name=\"in body link\">1994 age of consent amendment<\/a> and helped slowly chip away at her homophobic party.<\/p>\n<p>Today we drastically need straight people to speak up about the situation in schools. School bullying and isolation is where the higher levels of anxiety, depression, <a class=\"u-underline\" title=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/www.theguardian.com\/society\/2014\/nov\/19\/young-transgender-suicide-attempts-survey\" data-link-name=\"in body link\">suicide ideation<\/a> and addiction that LGBT people statistically have, begins.<\/p>\n<figure id=\"img-3\" class=\"element element-image img--landscape  fig--narrow-caption fig--has-shares \" data-component=\"image\" data-media-id=\"a627268e21305e62c3af54d302620f6ed646a68b\">\n<div class=\"u-responsive-ratio\"><picture><source srcset=\"https:\/\/i.guim.co.uk\/img\/media\/a627268e21305e62c3af54d302620f6ed646a68b\/85_390_2583_1550\/master\/2583.jpg?w=620&amp;q=20&amp;auto=format&amp;usm=12&amp;fit=max&amp;dpr=2&amp;s=e08f9039b480be20bcf820f236bd3280 1240w\" media=\"(min-width: 660px) and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 1.25), (min-width: 660px) and (min-resolution: 120dpi)\" sizes=\"620px\" \/><source srcset=\"https:\/\/i.guim.co.uk\/img\/media\/a627268e21305e62c3af54d302620f6ed646a68b\/85_390_2583_1550\/master\/2583.jpg?w=620&amp;q=55&amp;auto=format&amp;usm=12&amp;fit=max&amp;s=c36ed8b7bab17b2a32e909cef8f6029d 620w\" media=\"(min-width: 660px)\" sizes=\"620px\" \/><source srcset=\"https:\/\/i.guim.co.uk\/img\/media\/a627268e21305e62c3af54d302620f6ed646a68b\/85_390_2583_1550\/master\/2583.jpg?w=605&amp;q=20&amp;auto=format&amp;usm=12&amp;fit=max&amp;dpr=2&amp;s=bd0e1a4a0286a65497dc02470151ef49 1210w\" media=\"(min-width: 480px) and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 1.25), (min-width: 480px) and (min-resolution: 120dpi)\" sizes=\"605px\" \/><source srcset=\"https:\/\/i.guim.co.uk\/img\/media\/a627268e21305e62c3af54d302620f6ed646a68b\/85_390_2583_1550\/master\/2583.jpg?w=605&amp;q=55&amp;auto=format&amp;usm=12&amp;fit=max&amp;s=7d064589a5d53b00f5198da70b88adb0 605w\" media=\"(min-width: 480px)\" sizes=\"605px\" \/><source srcset=\"https:\/\/i.guim.co.uk\/img\/media\/a627268e21305e62c3af54d302620f6ed646a68b\/85_390_2583_1550\/master\/2583.jpg?w=445&amp;q=20&amp;auto=format&amp;usm=12&amp;fit=max&amp;dpr=2&amp;s=c31837a8030b94fedf909aa974e8f042 890w\" media=\"(min-width: 0px) and (-webkit-min-device-pixel-ratio: 1.25), (min-width: 0px) and (min-resolution: 120dpi)\" sizes=\"445px\" \/><source srcset=\"https:\/\/i.guim.co.uk\/img\/media\/a627268e21305e62c3af54d302620f6ed646a68b\/85_390_2583_1550\/master\/2583.jpg?w=445&amp;q=55&amp;auto=format&amp;usm=12&amp;fit=max&amp;s=df4d3e7c1b32b1e13d4d29a282c1e8b9 445w\" media=\"(min-width: 0px)\" sizes=\"445px\" \/><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"gu-image\" src=\"https:\/\/i.guim.co.uk\/img\/media\/a627268e21305e62c3af54d302620f6ed646a68b\/85_390_2583_1550\/master\/2583.jpg?w=300&amp;q=55&amp;auto=format&amp;usm=12&amp;fit=max&amp;s=55a93efd2daca8a472a1cfd16f8e9f07\" alt=\"Claire Rayner\" \/><\/picture><\/div>\n<div class=\"block-share block-share--article  hide-on-mobile \" data-link-name=\"block share\"><a class=\"rounded-icon block-share__item block-share__item--facebook js-blockshare-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/dialog\/share?app_id=180444840287&amp;href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.theguardian.com%2Fcommentisfree%2F2017%2Fapr%2F06%2Flgbt-community-straight-men-holding-hands-netherlands-homophobic-attack%3FCMP%3Dshare_btn_fb%26page%3Dwith%3Aimg-3%23img-3&amp;picture=https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.guim.co.uk%2Fa627268e21305e62c3af54d302620f6ed646a68b%2F85_390_2583_1550%2F2583.jpg\" target=\"_blank\" data-link-name=\"social facebook\"><span class=\"u-h\">Facebook<\/span><\/a><a class=\"rounded-icon block-share__item block-share__item--twitter js-blockshare-link\" href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/intent\/tweet?text=LGBT%20people%20need%20straight%20allies%20to%20lend%20a%20helping%20hand%20%7C%20Matthew%20Todd&amp;url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.theguardian.com%2Fcommentisfree%2F2017%2Fapr%2F06%2Flgbt-community-straight-men-holding-hands-netherlands-homophobic-attack%3FCMP%3Dshare_btn_tw%26page%3Dwith%3Aimg-3%23img-3\" target=\"_blank\" data-link-name=\"social twitter\"><span class=\"u-h\">Twitter<\/span><\/a><a class=\"rounded-icon block-share__item block-share__item--pinterest js-blockshare-link\" href=\"http:\/\/www.pinterest.com\/pin\/create\/button\/?description=LGBT%20people%20need%20straight%20allies%20to%20lend%20a%20helping%20hand%20%7C%20Matthew%20Todd&amp;url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.theguardian.com%2Fcommentisfree%2F2017%2Fapr%2F06%2Flgbt-community-straight-men-holding-hands-netherlands-homophobic-attack%3Fpage%3Dwith%3Aimg-3%23img-3&amp;media=https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.guim.co.uk%2Fa627268e21305e62c3af54d302620f6ed646a68b%2F85_390_2583_1550%2F2583.jpg\" target=\"_blank\" data-link-name=\"social pinterest\"><span class=\"u-h\">Pinterest<\/span><\/a><\/div><figcaption class=\"caption caption--img caption caption--img\">\u2018From TV producers including gay characters on shows and public figures such as the glorious agony aunt Claire Rayner \u2013 they all helped change public opinion.\u2019 Photograph: Linda Nylind for the Guardian<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n<p>It\u2019s crucial we understand that what LGBT kids go through at school is not an issue just for us. These are the children, on the whole, of heterosexual people \u2013 and supporting them is an issue for everyone, in particular parents. This is why the media\u2019s refusal to report the experience of these young people is outrageous. Has there even been one television documentary or newspaper article focused specifically on the isolation that young LGBT people suffer, ever? At the moment, these children are invisible in society. The media doesn\u2019t care.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m not embarrassed to say that seeing pictures of all these straight guys holding hands made me cry. It\u2019s powerful because it tenderly cracks apart the homophobic granite that so scared my school friends: being OK with gayness does not threaten masculinity. That fear hurts everyone, all the way to the gay <a class=\"u-underline\" title=\"\" href=\"http:\/\/www.idontdoboxes.org\/masc-4-masc-the-denial-of-femininity-in-the-gay-community\/\" data-link-name=\"in body link\">Masc 4 Masc obsessives<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Freeing men to show affection, to express warmth and vulnerability, be it sexual or not, is hugely important. If we had more of it we might change the whole world, and not just for LGBT people. What more powerful message could everyone on this planet receive today: all of us, hand in hand. Over to you, bros.<\/p>\n<p>Copy :\u00a0www.theguardian.com<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Kathmandu (Pahichan) April 12 &#8211; Irecently thanked an old school friend for being one of the only people I heard, back in the grisly early 1990s, saying he was cool with gay guys. Men then seemed to believe if you didn\u2019t hate \u201cpoofs\u201d it meant you were one. To be anything less than hostile seemed to threaten a penetration of their masculinity, metaphorically and literally. But my mate Nic wasn\u2019t in any doubt of his own sexuality and so wasn\u2019t disturbed by anyone else\u2019s. Who knew that\u2019s how it worked?<\/p>\n<p>Dutch &#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":44,"featured_media":7031,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[8,621,490,11],"tags":[524],"class_list":["post-7030","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-human-rights","category-news","category-slider","category-world","tag-lgbt"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/pahichan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7030","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/pahichan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/pahichan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pahichan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/44"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pahichan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7030"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/pahichan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7030\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7032,"href":"https:\/\/pahichan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7030\/revisions\/7032"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pahichan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/7031"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/pahichan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7030"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pahichan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7030"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/pahichan.com\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7030"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}