Kathmandu (Pahichan) April 14 – “When I was a child I don’t know who am I? I always thinking about myself why I am like this. Why I am behaving like that. Is only I am in this world who behaving different than birth assign. When I enter in my teenage I more attract with boys rather than girl. Most of my classmate they were talking about girls but I always thinking about boys but cannot express them about my feeling because I was confused about my self. At that time my classmates and neighbors they are talking about me and bullying me, giving me a different name which makes me more stress and confused me. At that time, I thought I am gay? Because I only heard about gay and lesbian. Later I knew that I don’t belongs to gay definition because I always wanted to be a girl. After few years I read a newspaper definition which was totally match my feelings. I was so happy and feeling fortune myself and realized I am not alone in this world. But still hazard to reveal my gender identity front of family and society because society wasn’t so much open on that.

Later, I flew in cyprus for further study and stayed over there for seven years. During that time my family always force me to back home and get marry with girl. And I always denied then that I will come next years. Like this I spent next years. End of 2001 I back Nepal. As soon as I realize that if I back to home and get marry with girl once I marry. I gonna ruined two family life. Emotion and dream so I hide myself in Kim. IN my one and friend home. At the very first day I wore a ladies clothes that time felt that magician sword touch my head and I became a lady.

I felt so much happy, and I started walk in a street with ladies clothes which was my childhood dreams and I was so happy that my dream came true. Slowly, Slowly my money finish and I started working in night entertainment sector but which I really doesn’t want to do, what I really doesn’t wanted.

One day I met a outreach worker of blue diamond society and with him I visit their office. Where a post was vacant and I applied it because I want to change myself from a profession which was chosen by me. Because where I saw many stigma, violence, risk in daily life.

During the time period. I got a opportunity take participant a capacity building training and I boost up myself. So mow I am in national level position in federation of sexual and gender minorities Nepal. Now I am advocating for rights and aware to people about LGBTI. Because I really want to create a enabling environment for LGBTI.”

Source : where love is illega