My name is Ms. Pratichhya Chapagain and I represent LGBQ disability community of Nepal; The most sexually marginalized community of the world because even our data is not screened and specified. The fraternity of LGBQ persons with disabilities is not accepted and recognized as contributors in the mainstream LGBTQI+ community of Nepal. I am an educated victim of such dirty politics and as a result, there is no investment for the empowerment of disability population within the mainstream sex and gender minority community of our country. I was born in Koshi province of Nepal in 1988 and shifted to the capital city, Kathmandu with my beloved parents at an early childhood age. I come from lower-middle-income family with visual disability at birth. My parents struggled their ends to raise me and two of my siblings. Me and my entire family faced many challenges from the society concerning my disability and people often cursed upon us seeing my helpless condition because our society is still very narrowminded. Our society lacks empathy and compassion for diversity acceptance. For instance, most people have a strong tendency of not wanting to come out of their generalized comfort zone to explore possibility of change-making hand-in-hand alongside persons with disabilities amidst advancing trends in all development spheres of the world.

My parents played pivotal role by giving me education from an inclusive school by the name of Laboratory Higher Secondary School, Kirtipur and I studied there till grade 10th. On the other hand, I am now grappling through some major challenges as I am visually impaired lesbian woman. “Life is always not a piece of birthday cake”. When I attained puberty at the age of 13, I strongly started realizing how I am unconditionally and innocently attracted to persons/women of the same sex. Though I tried to divert my attraction and sexual orientation, I couldn’t and it created fright in me. I started pondering within whether I am abnormal. But when I moved to New Delhi India for higher studies, I was also able to discover my identity as a visually impaired lesbian woman. I was not able to express my desires with my parents and with those in my surrounding. However, I got exposed to LGBTQI+ community in India. But my challenges did not say goodbye to me there. As I also got isolated from LGBTQI+ community and disability space both. I now realize how difficult it is to lead life in exclusion alone. Emptiness as well followed through my footsteps when I returned back to Nepal from Delhi in 2018. I am accepted neither there nor here. I am now like a broken tree struck by lightening. World around me is completely shattered as I am deeply entrenched under the trauma of identity crisis also in Nepal.

I am happily staying with my parents and siblings, I have completed my Masters degree from Jawaharlal Nehru University, I am now working as LBT focal person for Mayako Pahichan Nepal after working in some organizations of persons with disabilities. I am also a freelancer as certified psychosocial counsellor. It is the result of my parents’ struggle and hardwork, my dedication and honesty. However, I am still not accepted by both disability and LGBTQI+ communities. The reason for this is very simple though our thought process is shrinking day by day. In the name of body politics while trying to fit in heteronormative idea of gender identity entrenched upon patriarchal grounding, we are exploiting/destroying uniformity within our own LGBTQI+ community by spoiling minds of the general public. For instance, how can trans population of our country forcefully claim for heteronormative ideology of “manhood” or “womanhood”? It is shamefully sheer cheating upon humanity wen we are misled on the meaningful ideology of actual transitioning from sex characteristics to acquiring certain gender identity as ‘others’ that is uniquely bestowed upon us by our own eastern rich culture. Such examples are manifold when we revisit chapters of our own history. Through my own piece of writing, I suggest the entire community to endridiculing our own worth before the public as fighting cats and dogs to be able to set clear goal of establishing unity of gender diversity in the community. The more we divert away for our selfish gains for privileges at the cost of sufferers in the nooks and corners of the country as hypocrite social activist reformers, the LGBT community of Nepal can not thrive in quality. As hot bread example, I know for sure that we are lagging behind in terms of intellectual intervention as strong contributors. We have to move away from charity acceptance to rights-based approach in real practice in all spheres of the nation.

Similarly, I humbly request all our sponsors to contribute wisely for the cause of LGBT community empowerment by compulsorily incorporating need for intersectionality by following principles of inclusive approach as it ensures overall growth and sustainability. This idea is very much appealing as Nepal is a signatory to several conventions and SDGs. Such effort on the part of our evergreen donors can make a lot of hope-filled positive difference in our lives because disability population within LGBT community is factually in minority.

On the other hand, I request both communities to be inclusive from the perspective of humanity. Please accept me as disabled sexual minority woman. Your little effort can give us the feeling of belonging. I strongly believe attraction is all about feeling, emotion and sentiment other than such dirty game of body politics that has created citizenship hazard for trans community of Nepal in the name of identity crisis. This is actually creating problems in lives of innocent followers as a herd of sheep following footsteps of those in the privileged position. As an educated lesbian woman with blindness, I am not blind follower of anybody as I am driven by my own wisdom and request the same to others. We get attracted to each other’s goodness. I am therefore a normal being.

Similarly, the exclusionary policy of gen Z movement, the present interim government of Nepal and all political parties is very disheartening as against the constitution of Nepal concerning representation of genuine demands, representation in the cabinet and addressal of pertinent issues faced by sex and gender minority community of Nepal. We therefore have to unitedly knock at the doors of the government for initiation of positive dialog as contributors for change.

I hereby conclude my short story by conveying this message to the society. I wholeheartedly request my brothers and sisters to be ever accepting because all-of-us belong to each other. We must make policy intervention for persons of sex and gender minority community to enter all sectors of development. If we do not begin climbing steps now, our voices will be silenced by other strong representations.

Acknowledgement:

I am now happily settled as LBT focal person for Mayako Pahichan Nepal and I am hopeful that I can serve my LBT community with layers of intersectional identities to the best of my ability. I am very much grateful to welcoming nature of my Executive Director, Mr. Sunil Babu Pant for giving me this generous opportunity by recognizing my abilities, my colleagues and the entire team of Mayako Pahichan Nepal. I am also equally thankful to Pahichan media and journalist, Mr. Madhav Dulal for publishing my testimony in the digital platform of Pahichan media.